


Possessed by Supernatural

by LapfulofMisha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-28 00:20:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LapfulofMisha/pseuds/LapfulofMisha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens to average people when they first discover Supernatural . . .  then Fanfiction . . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

So maybe you're flipping channels and come across it . . . or maybe a friend turns you on to it. Maybe you've seen so much of it on your Tumblr dash that you check it out because of pure curiosity. For whatever reason, you find yourself watching your first episode of Supernatural. 

And you think, holy creeping crap, how can so many gorgeous fucking people be on ONE show?

Before you know it, the hour's up, but you want more.

You find it on Netflix.

You watch random episodes that catch your interest and then decide you need to start at the beginning and watch them all. Because holy shit, not only is this show full of sex gods (and sex goddesses) it has a fucking PLOT and you actually want to know what's going to happen next. And the MUSIC. Holy creeping crap, the fucking MUSIC.

You call in sick to work (or school). For a week. Because you spend seventeen hours a day watching nonstop. You cease showering. Once you hit, say, mid-season three, you start to understand that you have a problem. 

By season four you wonder if angels use their wings during sex.

At this point you decide to google the actors. You are now done living a productive, normal life. 

You decide to see if there are any Supernatural you tube videos. You discover Supernatural Crack. You discover the conventions. You start specifically looking for the clips where Jared and Jensen and Misha are touching each other. You fall completely, utterly, and hopelessly in love with the entire cast. You wonder (with detached interest) at what point your entire wardrobe began to consist of plaid shirts.

You start seeing references to something called 'Destiel' and 'Wincest'. Curiosity gets the best of you. You start reading fanfiction and realize with relief that other people think Dean and Cas are in love with each other, it's not just in your head. You discover that there are many varieties of these stories. You read some of the sweet, fluffy love stories. Then you get into the hard-core porn. You create a special folder on your computer. And password protect the files.

You cease sleeping.

You start making lists of the episodes that have the best eye-sex. You practice eye-fucking in the mirror.

By season six, you wonder if it's blasphemous to think the King of Hell is hot. You've downloaded the rules for the Supernatural drinking game and you know the first and last name of all of the show's writers. You create a twitter account so you can follow not only the actors but their family members also. You have a favorite fanfiction author.

By season seven you can write your name in Enochian. 

You download Google Earth so you can find the grocery store where Misha shops. (Shut up. You did it too.)

You have to buy an external hard drive to hold your collection of gay porn. Your iTunes library contains every song ever played on a Supernatural episode. You own a trenchcoat. You have searched Craigslist for a black '67 Impala.

By season eight, you know more about the Winchester family than your own. 

You have a favorite Meg.

You can recite the exorcism spell. You can look at Supernatural pictures, gifs and videos on the internet and name the episode they came from. Literally. By name.

You have joined a support group for people who have read "Twist and Shout".

Your vocabulary includes words like Cockles and Assbutt.

You join archiveofourown.com and write stuff like this.


	2. What Happens at Chicon stays at Chicon, except for what gets shared on tumblr.  *coughs* and, uh, youtube.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The descent into madness continues.

So. You’ve been a fan for a while.

So what if you have a life sized cardboard cutout of Misha in your living room? You worked hard to swindle it from the store owner at the mall, after all; you should display it with pride.

And seriously, if you want to spend thousands of dollars to go to Chicon to meet the actors, whose business is it anyway? And if you walk up to Misha at the photo op and announce “so my Tumblr name is ‘LapfulofMisha’” and Misha throws his head back and laughs before climbing into your lap for the picture . . . well, hey, the important thing is that you made him laugh, right?

And if you then go up to Jensen (who will always be Dean in your mind, there is no separation between man and character), all the while thinking _please don’t let me blurt out that I’ve published Destiel porn on the internet_ and you look into his beautiful face and for some reason your traitorous mouth says, “Misha sat in my lap, what are YOU going to do?”

And if Jensen/Dean’s eyes flash demon black for a second it’s just a trick of light, right? And when he puts his arm around your shoulders and says, “I am SO SORRY,” well, it doesn’t mean there’s any truth to that whole Cockles thing, does it?

But I digress.

There’s now a devil’s trap on the floor of your home, because, well, you just never know.

You issue a public service announcement letting people know there is Supernatural Anime.  Let me just repeat that so it sinks in. Supernatural. Anime.

You have the tattoo. I don’t even have to tell you which one. You know.

And you lay on your bed at night and smile as you remember when Misha came out on stage on that glorious day and roughly three thousand people started cheering and screaming and girls randomly cried out, “I love you, Misha!” and then things begin to quiet down and your husband cried out, “I love you, Misha!” (Wtf?) and then you discovered the moment captured on YouTube a few days later (Wt _actual bleeding_ f?) . . . well, it is just a TV show, after all.

Ha ha ha.

No.

Your religious friends don’t come to your house anymore.

You have a black cat named Abaddon.

You have a memory of walking up to Jared for your photo op and calmly saying, “acao;fia I ;afsfaa; alsdja;  adsiifaj; a;iosf ;aij;aom fa; aijof a/; vj;/vlkvamva’ Irmva’m ba.”

You will never be able to hear “Up all night to get lucky” or “the real slim shady” without thinking of Sebastian Roche and Osric, aka Kevin Fucking Solo, which is how he signed your plastic skeleton.

Mark Shephard tells you he’s signed a skeleton before.

You remember how other hotel patrons looked at your autographed skeleton with a mixture of fear and, well, mainly just fear.

You felt strangely proud of that feeling.

You look at the Supernatural shrine in your bedroom and sigh contentedly before curling up with Abaddon and falling asleep.


	3. Iconic Dean Lines from Every Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little tribute to Dean, because, well, Dean.

CHAPTER 3

ICONIC DEAN LINES FROM EVERY EPISODE

**Season 1**

Ep 1:  Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days.

Ep 2:  You know, saving people, hunting things. The family business.

Ep 3:  Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we?

Ep 4:  Stow the touchy feely self-help Yoga crap!

Ep 5:  That’s got to be like, what, 600 years of bad luck?

Ep 6:  Sam wears women’s underwear!

Ep 7:  Think we’ll see a naked pillow fight?

Ep 8:  You don’t break a curse. You get out of its way.

Ep 9:  (Sam) How much do you actually remember?  (Dean) I remember the fire, the heat, and then I carried you out the front door.

Ep 10:   When someone says a place is haunted, don’t go in!

Ep 11:   Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.

Ep 12:   That fabric softener teddy bear? Ooh, I wanna hunt that little bitch down.

Ep 13:   Blink or something!

Ep 14:   Bend this.

Ep 15:   You really know how to have fun, don’t you, grandma?

 ** _Bonus:_** Demons I get. People are crazy.

Ep 16:   I feel like a high school drama dork. 

 ** _Bonus:_** You trapped us. Good for you. It’s Miller Time.

Ep 17:   This is exactly why you never get laid.

Ep 18:   I’m sure there’s something in Pittsburgh worth killing.

Ep 19:   I’m the one who burned the doll and destroyed the spirit. But don’t thank me or anything.

Ep 20:   Vampires. Gets funnier every time I hear it.

Ep 21:   No matter what we do, they’re gone, and they’re never coming back.

Ep 22:  This sucks out loud.

 ** _Bonus_** : I got a Yorkie upstairs and he pees when he’s nervous!

**Season 2**

Ep 1:  You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting.

Ep 2:   I’m gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we could cry and hug and maybe even slow dance.

Ep 3:   You’re a monster pain in the ass, but you’re good.

Ep 4:   Don’t get too excited, you might pull something.

Ep 5:   He sings it from the hair.

 ** _Bonus:_**    He full-on Obi-Wan-ed me!

Ep 6:   This is gonna be a long drive.

Ep 7:   I’m Mulder. You’re a red-headed woman.

Ep 8:   I bet they could hump the crap out of your leg.

 ** _Bonus:_** Yahtzee!

Ep 9:   You know, I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon.

Ep 10: This is a whole new level of moronic. Even for you.

Ep 11:  Of course, the most troubling question is, why do all these people assume we’re gay?

Ep 12:  I like him. He says Okey Dokey.

Ep 13:  There really is magic in the magic fingers!

 ** _Bonus:_**   Unicorns. I hear they ride on silver moonbeams and they shoot rainbows out their ass.

Ep 14:  Dude, you full on had a girl inside you for like a week.

Ep 15:  I think they’re called purple nurples.

 ** _Bonus:_**   Some alien made you his bitch.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_**   Just your typical haunted-campus-alien-abduction-alligator-in-the-sewer gig.

Ep 16:  Just once I’d like to round the corner and see a _nice_ house!

 ** _Bonus:_** _To Sam:_ You’re the walking encyclopedia of weirdness.

Ep 17:  Werewolves are badass!

Ep 18:  Son of a bitch!

Ep 19:  Who looks better, me or Nick Nolte?

 ** _Bonus:_** I think I’m adorable!

Ep 20:   Bitch. (pause) Uh, you’re supposed to say “jerk”.

Ep 21:   Bring me some pie.

 ** _Bonus:_** That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels.

Ep 22:   We got work to do.

**Season 3**

Ep 1:     *knocks on door* Candygram!

 ** _Bonus:_**   What do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches, and we raise a little hell?

Ep 2:     She was a yoga teacher. It was the bendiest weekend of my life.

Ep 3:     Son of a bitch!

 ** _Bonus:_** Wow, you suck!

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** I’m Batman!

 ** _Extra Extra Bonus:_** Son of a bitch! _(Again)_

Ep 4:     You could stick that ass on a nickel!

Ep 5:     Do you think about fairy tales often?

 ** _Bonus:_** I’m gonna stop the big bad wolf.  Which is the weirdest thing I’ve ever said.

Ep 6:     *squirms* Don’t objectify me!

Ep 7:     Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.

 ** _Bonus:_**    What rhymes with “shut up, Sam”?

Ep 8:     So that’s your theory, huh? Santa’s shady brother?

 ** _Bonus:_** _To Sam:_ Sure you didn’t wanna ask her about her shoes? I saw some nice handbags in the foyer.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** What are you gonna tell me next? The Easter Bunny’s Jewish?

Ep 9:     I hate witches. They’re always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere.

Ep 10:   What the hell, Bobby?

Ep 11:   Rise and shine, Sammy!

 ** _Bonus:_** Sammy, I get all tingly when you take control like that!

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** Do these tacos taste funny to you?

 ** _Extra Extra Bonus:_** Sam Winchester cries his way through sex!

 ** _You get the idea:_**   How many Tuesdays did you have?

Ep 12:   You kinky son of a bitch!

 ** _Bonus:_** Honestly, I think the world’s gonna end bloody.

Ep 13:   Give the lady a cigar!

Ep 14:   What’s with the “quote-y” fingers?

Ep 15:  _To burger:_ Oh baby, I can’t stay mad at you!

**Season 4**

Ep 1:     We’ve got a name - Castiel, or whatever?

 ** _Bonus:_** (Demon): What makes you so special? (Dean): I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** What visage are you in now? What, Holy tax accountant?

Ep 2:     Dude? Where’s the pie?

Ep 3:     Sammy, wherever you are, Mom’s a babe! (pause) I’m going to hell. Again.

Ep 4:     If I didn’t know you, I would want to hunt you.

Ep 5:     I never forget a pretty . . . everything.

 ** _Bonus:_** One thing I don’t play by? The rules.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** I have been re-hymenated.

 ** _Extra Extra Bonus:_** The X-Files is a TV show. This is real.

Ep 6:     Am I haunted???

 ** _Bonus:_** I’m not carrying that! It could go off! I’ll man the flashlight.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** _(screams in high-pitched voice)_ That was scary! _(Sam makes his Bitch Face and walks off)_

 ** _Extra Extra Bonus:_** We search out things that want to kill us! Or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people!

 ** _Fuck it this is a great episode:_** You’re gassy! You eat half a burrito and you get toxic!

Ep 7:     Babe Ruth was a dick, but Baseball’s still a beautiful game.

Ep 8:     Damn right I wanted to save naked women!

 ** _Bonus:_**   Kind of like a deep-woods Duchovny.

 ** _Extra bonus:_**   We are teddy bear doctors.

Ep 9:     Zombie-ghost orgy, Huh? Well that’s it. I’m torching everybody.

Ep 10:  I got off that rack and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls.

Ep 11:  What kind of ghost messes with a man’s wheels?

 ** _Bonus:_** Please nobody grab my leg Please nobody grab my leg.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** Dog – It’s what’s for dinner.

Ep 12:    I’m, uh, here to see Chief?

Ep 13:  The whistle makes me their God!

Ep 14:  **Dean’s siren is a dude**

Ep 15:  Joe the plumber was a douche!

Ep 16:  Is it true? Did I break the first seal?

Ep 17:  My portfolio’s in the sewer. I don’t even wanna talk about it.

 ** _Bonus:_** You don’t wanna go fighting ghosts without health insurance!

 ** _Extra bonus:_**   Why am I wearing a tie?

Ep 18:  I’m full frontal in here dude!

 ** _Bonus:_** There’s actually fans. There’s not many of them, but still.

 ** _Extra bonus:_** These are real fake ID’s.

 ** _Extra extra bonus:_** Those are definitely your brooding and pensive shoulders.

Ep 19:  Well now I’m thinking about Dad sex. Stop talking.

Ep 20:  Demon Amelia: You know what’s funny? Dean: You, wearing a soccer mom?

Ep 21:  God you’re a dick these days.

 ** _Bonus:_** You walk out that door, don’t you ever come back!

Ep 22:  You can take your peace and shove it up your lily white ass.

**Season 5**

Ep 1:    Cram it with walnuts, ugly.

 ** _Bonus:_** (after Meg kisses him) What is that? Peanut butter?

 ** _Extra bonus:_** Life as an angel condom? That’s real fun. I think I’ll pass.

 ** _Extra Extra Bonus:_** What I do have is a GED and a give-‘em-hell attitude.

Ep 2:   Try New Mexico. I hear he’s on a tortilla.

Ep 3:   Cas, we’ve talked about this. Personal space.

 ** _Bonus:_** You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?

 ** _Extra bonus:_** Last time you zapped me someplace, I couldn’t poop for a week.

 ** _Extra extra bonus:_** There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay.

Ep 4:   (Future Dean) If you’re me, then tell me something only I would know. Dean: Rhonda Hurley, We were uh  . . . 19.  She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it.

 ** _Bonus:_** Don’t get me wrong, Cas, I, uh, I’m happy that the stick is out of your ass.

Ep 5:   Famous _Ghosts?_

 ** _Bonus:_**   Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat.

Ep 6:   What’s up with toothless? Cavity creeps get a hold of him?

Ep 7:  A wrinkly, gooey corpse.

Ep 8:  I’m gonna need a bigger mouth!

Ep 9:  Oh that’s it. I’m gonna deep fry this bitch extra crispy.

 ** _Bonus:_** Hey Chuck. Good luck with the supernatural books. And screw you very much.

Ep 10:   Okay Huggy Bear.

Ep 11:  PUDDING!

Ep 12:  Another one bites the dust.

 ** _Bonus:_** You’re not Sam. Who the hell are you?

Ep 13:  I take it all back. I love the devil!

Ep 14: (hands Sam an actual heart) Hey? Be my Valentine?

 ** _Bonus:_** Is this a fight? Are we in a fight?

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** What are you, the Hamburgler?

Ep 15: (To Bobby): What’s that smell? Is that soap? Did you clean?

Ep 16:  You gotta stop poking around in my dreams. I need some me time.

Ep 17:   Wow, Cas, tell us what you really think.

Ep 18:   Did you get to third base? (to Adam describing Heaven)

 ** _Bonus:_**  Blow me Cas

 ** _Extra Bonus:_**   Well, Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid.

Ep 19:  Please be tomato soup. Please be tomato soup.

Ep 20:  Check it out, I look like the King of Pop!

 ** _Bonus:_** How do I get him to spill? Rip out his toenails?

Ep 21:  How the hell am I supposed to get three million people out of Chicago in the next ten minutes?

Ep 22:  Devil’s in Detroit.

 ** _Bonus:_** Listen to me, you junkless sissy!

**Season 6**

Ep 1:   You have no idea what’s in some peoples’ walls.

Ep 2:   I’m a freakin’ head-case.

Ep 3:   Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.

 ** _Bonus:_** Friggin’ angels!

Ep 4:   You hear that, Crowley? That’s me, flickin’ my Bic for you!

Ep 5:   These aren’t vampires, man. These are douchebags.

 ** _Bonus:_** News flash, Mr. Wizard. Vampires pee.

Ep 6:  What I’m good at is slicing throats.

Ep 7:   Angel cavity search.

 ** _Bonus:_** You know, I’ve seen some stupid in my time, but you – you take the crown.

Ep 8:   I’m getting cirrhosis just watching this.

Ep 9:   UFO! UFO! Close encounter! Close encounter!

 ** _Bonus:_** I was abducted! By aliens!

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** Nipples?

 ** _Extra Extra Bonus:_** Fight the fairies!

 ** _Extra Extra Extra Bonus:_** It was a little, glowing, hot lady with nipples and she hit me.

Ep 10: You don’t watch porn in a room full of dudes.

 ** _Bonus:_** Oh, now he’s got a boner.

Ep 11:  (Dean, as Death, to dead guy) Everything is dust in the wind.

Ep 12:   I’m gonna send Death a fruit basket!

Ep 13:   One of dad’s rules: you never use the same crapper twice.

Ep 14:   Let it come out in bursts of violence and alcoholism. It works for me!

Ep 15:   Look at these male modeling son of a bitches!

 ** _This whole episode is a bonus:_** Oh crap, I’m a painted whore!

 ** _Hell, this whole_ season _is a bonus:_** Dear Castiel, who art running his ass from heaven?

Ep 16:   Just because you’re blood doesn’t make you family. You gotta earn that.

Ep 17:   I mean, accidents don’t just happen accidentally.

 ** _Bonus:_** So, we’ve pissed Fate off personally?

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** Why are you having my dreams, dude?

Ep 18:   We’ll Star Trek IV this bitch!

Ep 19:   Cas, get out of my ass!

 ** _Bonus_** : Great, cause without your power, you’re basically, you’re just a baby in a trench coat.

Ep 20:   You know who spies on people Cas? Spies.

Ep 21:  Go back to Crowley and tell him that I said you can both kiss my ass.

Ep 22:  What the hell is that? T. Rex maybe?

  **Season 7**

Ep 1:     I’m not gonna get my hope up just to get kicked in the daddy pills again.

 ** _Bonus_** : Hey? Have you got any Grey Poupon?

 ** _Extra Bonus_** : Hallucinations? Really? I gotta find out from _Death_?

Ep 2:    This discussion does not require a weapons discharge!

Ep 3:    Hey Look a monster broke my leg.

Ep 4:    Do dogs even have ghosts?

Ep 5:    Can you take the feet?

Ep 6:    They’re wearing our faces, Bobby. This is personal.

Ep 7:    See there’s fake whoo hoo crap, and then there’s real whoo hoo crap.

Ep 8:   (to Garth): Well, you don’t suck.

Ep 9:   Do rats shake their ass?

 ** _Bonus:_** I think you pissed off my sandwich.

Ep 10:  Come on! We got a lot of Chuck Norris to get through!

Ep 11:  Is he nuts or is he just being rude?

Ep 12: I am, uh, Special Agent Costner with the, uh, Department of Homeland Termite Invasion.

Ep 13:  I’m a fun guy. I’m actually awesome.

Ep 14:  Just know that 99.99 percent of all clowns can’t hurt you.

Ep 15: TW!!! (to serial killer): I don’t usually endorse suicide, but man, what stopped you?

Ep 16: I don’t mean to double dip in your crazy sauce.

Ep 17:  You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but I always could. What Cas did, I just can’t.

Ep 18: (to Garth) are you allergic to a suit?

 ** _Bonus:_** Beer’s not food. It’s whatever water is.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_**   Garth, why don’t we put the sock away?

Ep 19:  I don’t know! Add it to the list of things I don’t know!

Ep 20:  Planet wide value meal. We’re the meat.

Ep 21:  That’s a lot of fuss over a caveman Lego.

 ** _Bonus:_ ** There’s a how to punch Dick recipe in there?

Ep 22:  I, I, I need my road food!

 ** _Bonus_** :  That’s Sam’s Douche Tracker.                                                                                           

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** I can’t live on rabbit food! I’m a warrior!

Ep 23:  Dude, on my car. He showed up naked. Covered in bees.

 ** _Bonus:_** Let’s bone this nun.

**_Season 8_ **

Ep 1:I was knee deep in God’s armpit.

 ** _Bonus:_**  The rules are simple, Sam. You don’t take a joint from a guy named John, and there’s no dogs in the car!

Ep 2:   You hid the Word of God in a diaper bag?

 ** _Bonus:_** That’s Plutus? What is he? God of the candy aisle?

Ep 3:   What are you thinking about? Organic tomatoes?

 ** _Bonus:_** Really? Our king daddy monster is a stripper?

Ep 4:   Clear eyes and clogged arteries. Can’t lose.

Ep 5:   He’s like a crappy little credit card counting criminal prodigy rainman.

Ep 6:   You’re not Bobby! You’re never gonna be Bobby! So Stop!

Ep 7:   So we going to Rome?

Ep 8:   Friggin’ suburbs, man.

 ** _Bonus:_** Tell me this place doesn’t give you the heebs and/or jeebs.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** Let’s blow this termite terrace.

Ep 9:  Guys like us, we don’t get a home. We don’t get family.

Ep 10:  Alfie? The wiener on a stick?

 ** _Bonus:_** Who snatched heaven’s most adorable angel?

 ** _Extra Bonus_** : (to Kevin) Your mom’s hot!

Ep 11:   (LARPing) You may take our lives, but you will never take . . . our freedom!

EP 12:   Dudes time travelling through hotel room closets? That’s what we’ve come to?

Ep 13: The water pressure in the Letter’s room is marvelous.

 ** _Bonus:_** He was my gay thing.

Ep 14:  Memory foam. It remembers me.

 ** _Bonus:_** I’m nesting.

Ep 15:  I’m gonna die with a gun in my hand.

Ep 16:   This is an eagle chowing down on your intestines. You don’t remember that?

Ep 17:  Well, he puts the ass in Cas.

 ** _Bonus:_** Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** (to Cas) I need you.

Ep 18:  Never trust a guy who wears a sweater.

Ep 19:   Benny I gotta ask you a favor. It’s a big one.

Ep 20:  Give me five minutes with some clippers

Ep 21:  Sam: We have a dungeon. Dean: Finally!

 ** _Bonus:_**   Well, that was weird. With three exclamation points.

Ep 22:  Take your little apology and you cram it up your ass.

Ep 23:  The Angels! They’re falling!

**_Season 9_ **

Ep 1:   (t o Sam) There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.

Ep 2:  (to Abaddon) Are we gonna fight or make out? Cause I’m getting some real mixed signals here.

Ep 3:  (to Cas about being human) It ain’t all just burritos and strippers, my friend.

 ** _Bonus:_** Cas, he gave it up to a reaper?

Ep 4:   So what, our home’s not good enough for the ‘hang in there, kitty’ poster?

Ep 5:   I always knew I’d find the source of all evil at a Vegan bakery.

 ** _Bonus:_** I don’t have the urge to sniff butts!

 ** _Extra Bonus:_**  Don’t make me lick your face!

Ep 6:  (to Cas): Go get ‘em, tiger.

Ep 7: All right, Casper, Where you at?

Ep 8:  (regarding his virginity) I don’t think we can really unring that bell.

Ep 9:   No! No! Kevin!

Ep 10: Yeah, I ain’t rubbing you.

 ** _Bonus:_** A demon and an angel walk into my brother. Sounds like a bad joke.

Ep 11: (after Cain makes Crowley unable to talk): Oh, you gotta teach me how to do that.

Ep 12:  You offed a cow.

Ep 13:  You’re awkward. Weird. You know, Sam Weird.

Ep 14:  You think I wanna end up in a hotel bathroom with my kidney carved out? In Chechnya?

Ep 15: I will. Shoot you. Bitches. (to ghostfacers)

 ** _Bonus:_** How did you two meet? Wackjob.com?

Ep 16: (to Crowley) You just gonna let hell go to hell?

 ** _Bonus:_** You’re the King of Rotten! Act like it!

Ep 17: Demons don’t take leaks.

Ep 18: (to Cas): Did you…did you just understand a Death Star reference?

Ep 19: Look at me, bitch.

Ep 20:  So you’re telling me there are five monster families that run Chicago?

Ep 21:  I just can’t get over the fact that Crowley has a son.

Ep 22:  He’s a weird, dorky little guy. (about Cas)

 ** _Bonus:_** Yeah, I lied, but you’re being an infant.

 ** _Extra Bonus:_** We are not a team. This is a dictatorship.

EP 23:  You are nothing but Bernie Madoff with wings.

 ** _Bonus:_** Hell, I’m blaming you for the Cubs not winning the World Series for the last hundred friggin’ years.

**_Season 10_ **

Ep 1: (singing badly) “I’m too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hu-urts.”

Ep 2:  (to Crowley) You sound like a Viagra commercial, you know that?

Ep 3:  What does Sam say? Does he want a divorce?

Ep 4:  You’ve been kicked, bit, scratched, stabbed, possessed, killed . . . and you sprain your friggin elbow?

Ep 5:  There is no singing in Supernatural!

 ** _Bonus:_** Really? That’s your issue with this? (as Sam suggests new pronunciations for Destiel)

Ep 6: Real men don’t drink out of cups that small.

 ** _Bonus:_** Clown College Collette? The Butler killed her?

Ep 7:   I have this code. No cash for ass.

Ep 8:   I’m gonna swallow a bag of knives if I have to keep looking at this stuff.

Ep 9:  (to a cheese sandwich): oh, hello beautiful.

 ** _Bonus:_** (to Cas): Some chick bolting on you is not an emergency! That’s every Friday night for Sam!

Ep 10: When we screw ourselves, we like to go whole hog.

Ep 11: As soon as we get rid of this demonic tramp stamp I am back on the booze, burgers and . . . more booze.

 ** _Bonus:_** Dick-Charlie just hot-wired Baby!

Ep 12: You still believed in the Easter Bunny till you were like, 12.

 ** _Bonus:_** Well, the wheels just came flying off the bus.

Ep 13: College is better than Vegas!

 ** _Bonus:_** So, even ghosts are online??

Ep 14:  I’m scared, Sam.

Ep 15:  Hey, Kung Fu Grip, you comin’?

Ep 16:  Tell me you didn’t think that nun was hot.

 ** _Bonus_** : You know how it is. The sex, the lasagna . . .

Ep 17:  Sam: How’d you sleep? Dean: Like a drunk baby.

Ep 18:  And you call yourself nerds??

Ep 19:  There’s no honor in that!  (Doing yourself in)

I always did love it here. (purgatory)

Ep 20:  Three men and a lady. Let’s do this.

 ** _Bonus:_** Happy Birthday. Don’t shoot me.

Ep 21:  (Sam: How you doin?) Dean: Some dark thoughts, creepy visions, violent urges . . . you know, same old, same old

Ep 22:  You and Sam stay the hell away from me.

Ep 23:  I think I just killed Death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you find any errors!


End file.
